Airline complaint limerick
Author: rhymeghoul_mczhoj
Animal behavior
Excerpts from sections of Wikipedia articles on animal behavior in ballad stanzas
Profane git commits in verse
The Twitter account @gitlost publishes public GitHub commits that contain curse words. I used those to create small stanzas in ballad form (a la Emily Dickinson)
{cats, dogs}
It’s raining gnats and frogs
It’s raining brats and snobs
It’s raining Acts and Psalms
It’s raining can’ts and doths
It’s raining catwalk goths
{saved, earned}
A penny craved is a penny yearned.
{wrongs, right}
Two reds don’t make a white
Two rogues don’t make a knight
Two throngs don’t make a riot
Two roars don’t make a fright
Two songs don’t make a writer
Two runes don’t make a sprite
Two rods don’t make a kite
Slightly off baby names
My brother asked me to help him come up with baby names that were “uncommon English words that sound just slightly different from relatively common names.”
The idea I think was to make joke suggestions to his wife that they name their unborn child “Quarry” instead of Corey or “Cairn” instead of Karen.
Anyways I’m proud to announce my nine beautiful children:
My sons Brine, Frill, Curd, Quirk, and Crease (key: Brian, Phil, Kurt, Kirk, Chris)
My daughters Joist, Jostling, Greats and Moniker. (key: Joyce, Joecelyn, Grace, Monica)
sad, sad, song
Every rose has its thorn
just like
Every roast has its corn
just like
Every doze has its morn
just like
Every snows has its thawin’
Celebrity / Animal puns
or, Could this app write for Bojack Horseman?
- Julia Rabbits
- Meryl Sheep
- Conan O’Lion
- Mila Raccunis
- Julianne Boar
- Sigourney Beaver
- Mark Buffalo
- Adam Salamandler
- David Leopardman
- Elk Elk Cool J
{dogs, fleas}
Lie down with…
dolls, wake up with figurines
dollars, wake up with fees
dogmas, wake up with fallacies
drugs, wake up with felonies
figs, wake up with peas